Big Texas Hair

I am not one to spend too much time, energy, and money on beauty supplies. Don't get me wrong-I tanned for a couple of months so that I don't look like a damn ghost, I do spend some money on decent make-up, and I try to get a haircut every 2 or 3 months. I would love to spend more money on great beauty products, but I usually cannot justify it. Which explains why I have had the same hair dryer for 12 years. Yes, I said 12 years. It sucks. Well, actually, it blows, to be exact, but it really doesn't do much else for me. My hair is naturally curly...and fuzzy. My hair dryer is so old that the diffuser is one that you have to attach to the end of the dryer. Not that it fits, or stays on. When I do use it, I have to hold it on. Anyway, it's worthless too, because my hair is still fuzzy when I'm done with the mess. So back to the hair dryer--It smells like burning hair. It makes an odd noise. It fuzzes my hair more than necessary.
My other beauty necessity: my curling iron. It's 13 years old. Or, I should say, it was 13 years old. It finally broke last week. I sure do get my money's worth, huh? I guess I just look at some things as, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Well, it broke, and it sucks. So, I had the bright idea to use my mom's Velcro curlers after I got out of the shower last night. I figured, what the hell-how bad can it be? I tempted the fates, didn't I? So here I am with the curlers (please ignore the close-up, sans make-up.):
Scary shit, huh?
So anyway, I slept in them. Or attempted to. It figures it was the first night that my throat didn't feel like someone had raked it with a fiery fork and then thrown acid on it. So, I tortured myself with trying to find a comfortable position with those damn Velcro curlers, which kept sticking to my pillow.
This morning I used my useless dryer to make sure it was really dry. I ripped the curlers out (think of the sound Velcro makes when you tear it apart). And this is what I got:

Wait for it....



Wait for it.....

YOUCH.

Hair spray, sexy head-shaking, spray gel, slick-down-the-fuzz crap....and this is the result:

Big Texas hair. Beauty pageant hair. Big, fake-looking, bounce-a-ball-off-the-top hair. Not really what I was going for. Not sure what I was expecting, but I can tell you it was not this.

Tomorrow I am going to buy a new curling iron, and soon, after my first paycheck, I will be purchasing a good hair dryer. What I need from all 2 of you is advice!: What brand of hair dryer do you use? Does it work great!? Please help! I cannot do another day of fuzzy curls pulled back in a bun, and I simply cannot do another night of sleeping on curlers for the result to be big Texas hair (even if I do live in Texas!). HELP!!