Don't Boo Us, please. Unless you have a death wish, then BRING IT ON.

You may have seen my tweets 7000 hours ago when a strange package showed up on our doorstep at 10:30pm on a random Wednesday night last week. I had the giggles for so long, and seriously, I'm pretty sure it won't be as funny to any of you as it was to me. But still, here goes:

I'm sitting in the living room with a perfect view of the front door. I see someone run up to our porch, ring the doorbell, and run off. Hubby & I both go look out a window to see if someone is hiding in our yard. We live in a teeny gated community, so seriously, what the hell?

Hubby turns on the front porch light and we see an orange bag sitting on our doormat. He says "Let's just wait until tomorrow to see what it is."

Sure. I'm patient. *snort*

So he decides to open the glass on our door, to get a better look. Our door looks similar to this, where the glass opens from the inside:

So hubby opens the glass, and we both peer out. Yep, an orange knapsack thingy with a drawstring and a pumpkin face on the front.
Hubby then decides to get the broom. He doesn't want to touch it. You know, it could be a bomb. *rolling my eyes*
He pokes it through the metal lattice of the door. Then he knocks it over, and says it feels heavy. Then he gets brave and touches it, telling me: "It feels warm."
My response?: "Maybe it's fresh baked goods? Or fresh dog shit?"
Him: "I'm getting my gun."
Me: "....."
He comes back with his handgun by his side, and I bust out with the giggles. He glares at me. Tells me to stand behind the door. I continue to giggle.
He reaches down with his hand and pushes the bag over with his hand.
I continue to giggle.
Here's where he gets pissed at me.
I can't stop giggling. I keep imagining whomever the person is, watching us from behind a bush, poking this damn thing with a broom & now holding a gun.
Me: "Omg, let's just open it! It's a fucking pumpkin bag for cripe's sake!"
Him: "Do you not remember the lady who was shot in the face like 1/2 a mile from here?"
Me: "Uhhhh........."
Him: "I don't see why you find this so damn amusing. WTF is wrong with you?"

At this point, I just can't stop. And I'm telling you, he is FUMING, which is making me giggle even more.

Him: "Fuck it. I'll open it so you shut up."
Me: "YAY!"

Here's what was in it:

Yep, candy, a little light-up pumpkin, witch's brew punch mix, 2 halloween towels (not pictured), and a halloween candy jar. And a note that says we have been "Boo'ed" by our neighbors. There was also a halloween picture that we were supposed to put on our door, showing we had been Boo'ed.

I continue to crack up, fits of giggles, tears, snorts and all. Can.not.stop.

Hubby stomped off to bed, as I called out "So glad it wasn't fresh dog shit!....Or a bomb."
The next evening, we were Boo'ed again, since I didn't put the picture up on our door. This time:

A Monster drink, 2 Shiner Bock's, cute halloween napkins, & candy. No dog shit. Or bombs.

And this is what my kid does with the bucket:

I'm not sure whether I should be disturbed or proud.


Chibi Jeebs said...

BWA HA HAAAAAAA! OMG, I'm laughing so hard I can't catch my breath! Poor Mr. LeftofLost. ;)

lane said...


i LOVE getting boo'ed! so fun. no one does it in this neighborhood, but back in ohio in every neighborhood we lived in people would do that.

HALLOWEEN IS MY FAVORITE! *cue squeals like 14 yr old girl, similar to what i do when i see new fuckhawt photos of rob pattinson*

dude. your daughter and i would get along so well. i put everything on my head. undies (yeah, those lady gaga dancers stole my bit), food, books, bowls, toys, etc. idk. i'm a perpetual 3 yr old. lol

you are so cute though. so hilar that you couldn't stop laughing. i was picturing the whole scene in my head (for some reason, i pictured you as jennifer aniston and the hubs as vince vaughn...not.sure.why...lol)

uhmm OH. ok, so i just got done running. and remember a long time ago when you posted something about needing new workout music? and i was like "oh FO SHO i'll hook a bitch up later tonight"...and then i never did. rememba that? yeah.

WELL. i made a new (short) playlist this afternoon before i went running, and thought of you immediately.

i love everything when i workout, from indie rock and hip hop, but mostly these new ones are indie rockish. let me know if any of them work for you, i'm always curious to see what others like to work out to :).

"ego" - the sounds <-- this is my perfect running song. my foot hits the pavement on every beat. love it!
"kiss with a fist" - florence + the machine
"run this town"- rihanna and jay-z
"heart it races" - architecture in helsinki
"wolf like me"- tv on the radio
"wow, i can get sexual too" - say anything
"alive with the glory of love" - say anything
"pardon me" - the blow


Love it! I remember being Boo'ed! How fun! My new neighborhood is boring...

Your hubby's reaction cracked me up. That's too much.

pamela said...

what does it mean if you are boo'ed? is it because of lack of decorations and stuff? LOL

Alan said...

BOOOOOOOO! And you should be proud!!! :-)

Sarah said...

Hilarious! This sounds like something that would happen in my house, with the guns and giggling and all. And the bucket head? I got two of them. They do that with their Easter baskets. Glad you're back :)