Don't Boo Us, please. Unless you have a death wish, then BRING IT ON.

You may have seen my tweets 7000 hours ago when a strange package showed up on our doorstep at 10:30pm on a random Wednesday night last week. I had the giggles for so long, and seriously, I'm pretty sure it won't be as funny to any of you as it was to me. But still, here goes:

I'm sitting in the living room with a perfect view of the front door. I see someone run up to our porch, ring the doorbell, and run off. Hubby & I both go look out a window to see if someone is hiding in our yard. We live in a teeny gated community, so seriously, what the hell?

Hubby turns on the front porch light and we see an orange bag sitting on our doormat. He says "Let's just wait until tomorrow to see what it is."

Sure. I'm patient. *snort*

So he decides to open the glass on our door, to get a better look. Our door looks similar to this, where the glass opens from the inside:

So hubby opens the glass, and we both peer out. Yep, an orange knapsack thingy with a drawstring and a pumpkin face on the front.

Hubby then decides to get the broom. He doesn't want to touch it. You know, it could be a bomb. *rolling my eyes*

He pokes it through the metal lattice of the door. Then he knocks it over, and says it feels heavy. Then he gets brave and touches it, telling me: "It feels warm."

My response?: "Maybe it's fresh baked goods? Or fresh dog shit?"

Him: "I'm getting my gun."

Me: "....."

He comes back with his handgun by his side, and I bust out with the giggles. He glares at me. Tells me to stand behind the door. I continue to giggle.

He reaches down with his hand and pushes the bag over with his hand.

I continue to giggle.

Here's where he gets pissed at me.

I can't stop giggling. I keep imagining whomever the person is, watching us from behind a bush, poking this damn thing with a broom & now holding a gun.

I.keep.giggling.

Me: "Omg, let's just open it! It's a fucking pumpkin bag for cripe's sake!"

Him: "Do you not remember the lady who was shot in the face like 1/2 a mile from here?"

Me: "Uhhhh........."

Him: "I don't see why you find this so damn amusing. WTF is wrong with you?"

At this point, I just can't stop. And I'm telling you, he is FUMING, which is making me giggle even more.

Him: "Fuck it. I'll open it so you shut up."

Me: "YAY!"

Here's what was in it:

Yep, candy, a little light-up pumpkin, witch's brew punch mix, 2 halloween towels (not pictured), and a halloween candy jar. And a note that says we have been "Boo'ed" by our neighbors. There was also a halloween picture that we were supposed to put on our door, showing we had been Boo'ed.

I continue to crack up, fits of giggles, tears, snorts and all. Can.not.stop.

Hubby stomped off to bed, as I called out "So glad it wasn't fresh dog shit!....Or a bomb."

*******

The next evening, we were Boo'ed again, since I didn't put the picture up on our door. This time:

A Monster drink, 2 Shiner Bock's, cute halloween napkins, & candy. No dog shit. Or bombs.

And this is what my kid does with the bucket:

I'm not sure whether I should be disturbed or proud.