And Target is my favorite store BECAUSE...?!?!

Alright, I'm just going to say it: I-adore-Target. I know lots of people share this passion with me, because the one by my house always has at least 2000 cars parked outside, even on a Sunday night. Hell, the other night we walked out right as they were closing, only to be approached by a couple that was attempting to get in the door. They were so disappointed when we told them they were closed.
I have lots of Target stuff in my house: sheets, towels, floor mats, bathmats, Christmas ornaments, candle holders, Target brand food, and about 50,000 other odds & ends.
I go at least three times a week. I browse the clearance racks (which rock), I walk up and down the housewares aisles, and I'm so excited when they have the Global Bazaar each Spring. I mean, mark-it-on-my-calender excited. You think I'm joking.
And my kid loves it too. If we have nothing going on, she will say 'I wanna go to TARGET!'
I love it so much that I am a secret shopper for them. I'm serious. I doubt my cover is blown.
So.
It is with great pain & distress that I say this:

They.have.pissed.me.off.

I ordered a cute shower curtain and the matching accessories for my daughter's bathroom, back in OCTOBER. It's pink, tan, & black, and has cute little purses, shoes, & dresses on it. Everything came about 2 weeks later, which sorta pissed me off to begin with, because it never takes that long for anything to come from Target.com. Then, stuff is backordered-a bath towel, hand towel, & matching washcloth. They have the cute little purses, shoes, etc. on them, so we must have them. So, I figure 'Okay, it's backordered for a couple of weeks, no biggie'. Uh, no biggie? They were backordered for 2 freakin' months. But yes, they are worth the wait, (or so it seemed at the time), so I went ahead and ordered them.

Halloween.
Thanksgiving.
First day of Winter.
Oh, towels, where are you???
Right before Christmas, I get an email from Target telling me that my order has finally been shipped. Normally, they give you a tracking number, but the email says there is 'no tracking number associated with this order'. That should have been my first clue.
Every day I open the front door to see if the package is on the porch.
Nope.
Christmas.
New Year's.
Where are the f-ing towels???

So, it my patient voice, I compose an email to Target, asking where my order is. I get some automated thing back telling me that their records show that they were delivered already. As in, I have them??? Uh, only if my dogs ate them when I wasn't looking.

So, today I get another email, telling me that they have received my return and they have credited my account. Huh? WTF? Am I missing something here?

So, in my patient voice again, I call them. I sit on hold for about 10 minutes (again, not the Target norm), and I get......
(oh God, forgive me for my lack of patience here)
.....some Middle Eastern guy that I cannot understand for the life of me.
ARRRRRRGGGGG.
So I keep saying 'Excuse me?' and 'Can you repeat that please?', and somehow, in the jumble of our conversation, I get that he is telling me that their system does indeed show that "someone" returned my towels, and that "someone" stated for the reason "Not what I expected".
Oh yeah?
Now, to add to this mess, I have address/mail delivery issues to begin with. I live in one city, but my mailing address is for a neighboring city, and it seems that neither city can decide who I belong to, so I didn't get my natural gas bill for 3 months, my electric bill was sent back to the electric company as 'undeliverable', & at least once a week, a neighbor brings me my mail because the mailman is an idiot and can't decipher the difference in our street names (Nottingham & Lyndhurst-wow-they sound sooo much alike). Crap, I don't care what city I belong to-just give me my damn mail!!!!
I tried to explain to Habeeb that I did not return the towels because I never received them in the first place. I tried to explain that I had been waiting on these f-ing towels since the beginning of October. I know he thought I was a nut. I know just know it. He finally told me that there was nothing he could do for me. His only suggestion was this: re-order the damn towels.
Oh yeah??
So rather than argue with him, I said, 'Okay, can you tell me if they are currently in stock?' Well, they should be, considering my fucking towels are sitting in their warehouse. He puts me on hold, comes back 10 minutes later, and tells me:

He.is.sorry.but.the.towels.are.backordered.

Are you f-ing kidding me????????

After I take a few deep breaths, get my heart rate down, & thank him, I go online to look up the damn towels, hoping that he was somehow wrong.
Nope, he was right. They are backordered.
Oh, and it gets better (no, really):
Now they cost $5 more than I originally paid for them.
I am not kidding you. I am sitting here typing this with a straight face.
$.5.more.
I do not have the energy to call them right now, only to luck out and get Habeeb again. I do not have the patience to argue with any one of them right now.

The stickler in this whole debacle is that I still want the towels.

Target, you SLAY me! This is so wrong! Why do you torment me so!?!

What's just as bad about this whole debacle is that I will be going to the Target right down the street tomorrow, and I will be giving them more of my hard-earned money, because I saw some super-cute pj pants when I was there on Wednesday.