She's sick & I'm tired...again

So, the flu bug has invaded my house again. Grrr. Grace came home from daycare with a 103 fever on Friday, and we are finally down to 100 today. But really, that's not what I'm tired of.

I am on Day 2 of the 'Master Cleanse' aka 'the Lemonade Diet'. I was all excited about it, until I actually started it. I am not sleepy tired, I am just tired of not eating. I love food just way too much to be ingesting this stuff for 10 days. I have committed to 5 days, until Saturday morning. Last night I was craving broccoli. Of all things to want, huh? Not ice cream, not candy.....broccoli. And it's not even 11am yet, and today I have had fleeting thoughts of throwing in the towel about 10,000 times. But then I walk into the bathroom, and see my cute bathing suit that I stategically placed on my counter, and I know I have to keep going. Even if I just lose a few pounds this week, it will motivate me to work towards more weight loss.
Speaking of bathing suits, what the hell is up with Target? Why did they put bathing suits out about 2-3 weeks ago? Why do they put spring and summer stuff out when it's still cold out? That is so annoying. The last thing I want to do is try on a bathing suit. But I did it anyway. I tried on my bathing suit from last year. Yes, it fits, but I don't think it covers any of my fatty areas. Like, say, my stomach, my love handles, my thighs. So, that's how it ended up on my bathroom counter-I figured if I look at it enough, I will keep eating healthy.
I have 4 months to look great in that bathing suit. In 4 months, I'm going to Mexico. I cannot wait. I'm going to bring books & lots of sexy summer clothes. But if I don't lose weight, I'll be bringing lots of comfy, cover-up clothes.
On a related note: tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. And every year, during Lent, I give something up until Easter. When I was younger, I gave up candy, cake, and ice cream. It sucked, but in my family, the kids were allowed to have what they gave up, every Sunday. In the past 5 years or so, I have given up less. For instance, I would give up just candy, or just ice cream, or just chocolate chip cookies, which gave me lots of freedom to still eat sweet stuff. But not this year. NO cookies, NO candy, NO cake, NO brownies, NO ice cream. NO tiramisu. NO cupcakes. NO starbucks' pastries. Ack. I'm not including gum in that mess, nor am I including fat free jello or pudding. I have my limits, damn it. I'm hoping this will help me with my weight loss.
And yes, I am aware that I am not fat or overweight by any means. But I don't like how I feel, and the 18 or so pounds that I have gained seems to be all in one damn area-my muffin top. And I refuse to be one of those people that continues to wear sexy bathing suits even when they sooooo obviously should NOT be. And I realize that if anyone else were to see me in my bathing suit, they probably wouldn't see the fat that I see.
So.....day 2 of the cleanse. I guarantee I will be dreaming about food tonight.

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