The saga of the blankie

My girl has had 3 little (portable) vices since being born: A pacifier, and two little blankets. The two little blankets were pink, soft, and adorable. I would wash one while she clutched the other. Over time, she grew more attached to one. At about 15 months, we decided it was time to take away a blankie, since we were so damn sick and tired of doing the whole 'did you get both blankies and the pacifier? Oh fuck, where's the other blankie??' routine every time we went anywhere. So, one day, my hubby took one of them away, and hid it in my sock drawer (no idea why he chose that place). And she was upset, but got over it quickly, considering she still had her favorite little blankie and pacifier.
At about 28 months, we were so damn tired of the pacifier, which we call a binky. We had about 12 at one time, and then all of a sudden, we would be down to one. And of course, come bed time, we would be turning over couches, tossing shit around the house, searching for that ONE.
We tried cutting the tip off of the pacifier, in the hopes that she would be convinced that she was 'sucking' it off. She wasn't convinced; she was pissed. And, it got all gross inside, so we threw it out and bought another one.
Then 3 more appeared in her bedroom.
Damn it.
So, we talked it up the idea of wrapping them up and giving them to 'the new babies' at the hospital. We even went to visit baby Ellison when she was born, and I took her pacifier and hid it. And she was allll for it....until bedtime.
And then she cried. And cried. And cried.
And we gave it back to her.
Damn it.
So then we talked up the idea of leaving it for the Easter bunny. We convinced her that the Easter bunny was going to take it and leave it for new babies, and in it's place, she would get candy, eggs, and big girl panties (trying to throw some potty-training stuff in the mix). By this time, she only wanted it, or even noticed it, at bedtime.
Easter Eve, my girl refused to give up the binky. Nope. Not leaving it out for no one. So when she fell asleep, I snuck in her room and stole it.
The next morning, she woke up to a cute bunny balloon, a ton of candy, eggs, and big girl panties. She was so excited!
That night, she was so worn out from all the damn Easter candy that every single family member insisted on buying her, and she didn't even notice the binky was gone.
The next night...not so much. She screamed. And cried. And kicked her bed. And threw her blankets out of her bed.
She cried herself to sleep.
And that was it. Woohoo! Done! No more tears.
Now, about once a week, she does this fake little cry, and says she wants her binky. But she knows there are no more, and they are for babies.

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My girl loves rolling her own window down in the back seat. She does it if it's hot, cold, raining, or hailing. She doesn't care. It makes her happy, so I don't complain.
Last fall, in one of her crab-cake moods, she rolled her window down as we were driving home from a visit at Grandma's. It was almost dark, and she was crabbing about something. Being the sassy girl that she is, she threatened me with 'Look mom'--and held her blankie out the window.
I immediately got irate, telling her that was not safe, or funny. She put her hand in.
Less than a minute later, she started crying: "My blankie, my blankie!"
I felt around in the backseat for it (yes, while driving-it takes talent), and came up empty-handed. I asked her if it was on the other side of her car seat and she said "It's out the window."

What??? Are you kidding me???
My kid threw her damn blankie out the window.

I did a u-turn, and pulled off the road, right about where I remember here hanging it out the window. I turned on my brights, left her in the car, and started walking along the damn ditch.

And there it was.

No harm done, other than to my nerves.

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Over time, she has become more relaxed about the blankie. We can even leave it home 'by mistake', and she doesn't go all irate on me. We can convince her to leave it in the car, or put it in my purse, and she's okay with this. She still cries when I wash it, but besides that, much more relaxed.
Fast forward to last weekend:
The last time I remember seeing it, we were at my mom's. She had an accident, and while I was grabbing her spare pair of panties (say that 3 times fast please, I dare you), she was running around my mom's house naked, with her blankie on her head.
As far as I know, she left it there when we went to a couple of stores.
Apparently not, because we tossed my mom's house 3 times.
No blankie.
We backtracked. Drove around the pet store parking lot. Went in the pet store and asked if anyone had seen it or turned it in. Went to the clothing store-ditto. Tossed my mom's house again. Tossed every damn bag that was in our possession that day.
Nowhere to be found.
I am pretty sure I was more upset than she was. I'm still sad that I won't be able to show her the worn out-used to be pink-full of holes-thin as a tissue-blankie that she adored. I feel my heart ache a bit every time I think about it.
I guess she fed into my absolute terror about it, because by the end of the evening, she was crying. My mom convinced her that I would make her a new little blankie that would fit in her pocket, and she seemed okay with this. I was all excited about going to the fabric store (Sqweeeeeee!), and then....
My wonderful hubby walked out of our bedroom with the other blankie. It was still in my sock drawer. It was bigger than we wanted, so we cut it, and I sewed some satin edging on it. All before bedtime.
And, TADA! My girl is happy as can be!!!
And me? I am no longer hyperventilating.