HOLY HELL! What is WRONG with me???

Yeah, I know, I just posted something. And seeing as I don't post every day, you would think I would have saved this one for tomorrow, but I am in utter awe of myself right now, so I couldn't wait.
I am officially fired from cooking after 8pm. No microwave, no toaster, no oven, no baking, and definitely no stove-top cooking.
A little background first:

About 5 years ago, while living in my first home, I decided I was going to boil some eggs for breakfast the next morning. I put the pot on medium, put the top on it, and went about the rest of my evening: laundry, watching some crap-show, showering, etc.
I went to bed, and at some point during the night, my yellow lab Daisy (who is worthless in SOOOOO many other ways) woke me up by pushing her snotty nose in my face and whining next to my bed. I woke up and smelled this odd, burnt smell. I went into the kitchen and HOLY HELL! I had left the damn pot on all night long. Not only was the water gone, but the eggs had exploded, and the pot was melted. I was in shock, and it was one of the few times I was madly in love with my snotty-nosed lab.
Fast forward about 5 years:
As I mentioned in my last post, I would like to lose some weight between now and the end of May. So, I've been beefing up my protein intake & going back to eating like every 2 or 3 hours. So.....I decided I would boil some eggs for my breakfast. Ring any bells???
So here I am, all caught up in American Idol (oh hell, don't get me started!), and then I decide to catch up on My Name is Earl, and then I decide to buy some music on Amazon, and then I decide to post about my hives on my itchy ass, and then.....
I hear a pop in the kitchen. A small one, but it peaked my interest, considering my dogs are currently not here, so I know it couldn't be one of them counter-surfing or digging in the trashcan.
I continue with the important stuff of my evening, and I hear another pop, a little louder this time.
The eggs.
Same shit, different day (and year, and house).
I was so afraid to lift the lid, but I did.
No water, exploded eggs.
At least the pot didn't melt this time.
So, I am officially off cooking duty. I could have burnt the damn house down!
Now my house has this burnt-popcorn/rotten eggs smell. Great.
(and if you care, I think my hives are getting worse.)


Kristie said...

You must invest in a kitchen timer to alert you! :)

Anonymous said...

Would you believe me if I told you I have 2 damn kitchen timers-one on my microwave & one on my oven.