Lost souls


So let me just say that you need to see this video. I feel very strongly that we are not helping enough of the young people out there. I physically hurt when I think of all of the teens I wasn't able to 'save' the past 6 years. I pray each night that those I knew, and those I don't, are okay, are safe, are warm.

I pray each night for my new friend Kacy, who is pretty much out there on her own, and making it. She is not on the street, she is not on drugs, she is positive, eager, and mature. But she is doing it on her own. She is too young to be cut loose by her parents.

I pray each night for a girl I once knew: Tami. She was a mess, and she did her best to push me away, but she still has a piece of my heart. Last I knew, she was living with a man that could be her father...no job, no money, no education, no meds.....her mom is deceased, her father is/was an addict, and she was out there alone, so having this older man seems to be a dream...but I know it is not. She deserves more than a beating.

I pray each night for a guy I knew: Tim. He did his best to drive me crazy, but again, he had no one, and he has a piece of my heart, still. Father deceased, mom missing in action, for many, many years. I don't know where he is. I imagine he is probably living with friends, but I pray he isn't on the street. And if he is, I pray that he survives, that he doesn't piss off the wrong person, that he doesn't say the wrong thing, that he stays away from the drugs.

And most of all, I pray for a brave, hard, gorgeous girl I knew: Jay. She was tough. She began prostituting at around age 12 or 13. No one seemed to want her. When I met her, there was a part of me that was afraid that there was no saving her. She was so 'street', and I knew right away that she had seen more shit than a lot of adults out on the streets. It took a long time, but I got her away from her pimp, and out of the city. She started school, after being out for well over 2 years (why didn't someone in the school district speak up??), and proved to herself that she was smart and more than a little able to excel. I realized pretty quickly that there was a little girl inside that hard woman, who wanted to be a kid, needed reassurance, and needed LOVE.

Jay disappeared right before her junior year of high school ended, right before her 17th birthday. I have a feeling I know what area she is in, and I am pretty sure she is prostituting again. It breaks my heart that such a strong presence is out there on the street, selling her body to survive. (and NO, she was not a drug addict, although almost 3 years has gone by since I last saw her, so anything is possible). Her generation needs people like her to make positive changes, but she is lost......

Please, if you know someone who is close to being homeless, or a teen who is struggling, please, please do not turn away. Please help any way you can. Our future depends on these teens.


"Ewwwww! What that mommy???"

My child's cute little voice could be heard above all the other chatter, pointing at the swollen who-ha of a very pregnant goat in the petting zoo at the rodeo tonight.

Need I say more??


Oh where, oh where has my skinny ass gone?

First, let me say that I have never in my life had a skinny ass. I have had a ghetto booty most of my life. I have naked pictures of my 2 year old butt to prove it. But I was fine with it, really. It was firm, it was pretty, it was cottage cheese-free. Too much info for you? So really, I guess what I'm wondering about is why the hell my love handles have wrapped around my entire waist. So, let me just re-title this 'Oh where, oh where has my little waist gone?' for all intents and purposes.
I digress.
Although I am not a Texan by birth, I have been here since I was 7. I am a Yankee at heart, but I do love some seemingly Southern things, namely, the rodeo. My hubby bought tickets to the rodeo, and I've known about it for over a week, but I guess I have subconsciously been avoiding the fact that I will need to find something to wear.
I have 5 pairs of jeans on a shelf in my closet, that I used to wear a looooooong time ago. 4 pairs are Rockies, and 1 is a pair of very comfy Wranglers. I haven't worn them since the last time I went to Hunter's Extravaganza, which was prior to my child being conceived, born, or even thought of. Seriously, I last wore them in 2003. Seriously.
And when I wore them that time, I remember standing in my closet and staring at them on the shelf, just trying to will them to fit me. And lucky me-2 of the 5 fit me.
Well, last night I went into the closet and tried the staring-willing thing again. Did it work?
Not so much.
My daughter came in as I was bouncing around the closet on one leg, sucking it in, holding my breath, and pleading silently.
Then, my husband shows up behind her.
Great, just what I need is an audience to watch me be embarrassed about this state of affairs.
My husband, the funny guy that he is, says to my girl:
'Watch out honey. You don't want to lose an eye when that button pops off Mommy's jeans.'

You funny, funny man.

So, 4 out of the 5 pairs were soooo out of the question. I couldn't even get them up my thighs. Granted, they are supposed to be tight, and I have always had a bit of an issue with jeans and my thighs. They aren't huge by any means, but they used to be muscular when I ran 4 miles every day. Now they are just blubbery from all the sweet shit I eat.
The 5th pair, the 'relaxed' pair of Wranglers were hell. I had to lie on the bed and do the whole sucking it in thing to get them buttoned. It took about 5 times. Did I mention that I had just gotten home from Chili's? (where I had just had chips, salsa, a chicken fajita pita, and a white chocolate cake thing) This should have made me feel better, but it made me feel worse, literally, because when I stood up, I had this HUGE MUFFIN TOP over my jeans, and I felt like I was going to puke.
So, today I went and bought 2 pairs of jeans, all for the rodeo. They are comfy, yet still sexy in a cowgirl kind of way, and I might not wear them all that often, but they were worth it.

So this leads me to say that I am starting the Master Cleanse of Tuesday. You might ask why I am not just starting it on Monday. Would make more sense, right?
Didn't you just see the part where I said I was going to the rodeo?? That means: funnel cakes, cotton candy, big glasses of beer. I can't possibly be expected to see and smell all of this stuff and not eat any of it. I know, I know, it would have been a great lesson in self-discipline, but I'll be honest-I don't have much discipline when it comes to avoiding sweet stuff. Sweet stuff is my downfall. It is the reason I have a muffin top in the first place.
Don't know if you have ever heard of the 'Master Cleanse', but you might have seen it on LA Ink, or you can google your little heart out, and get lots of info on it. So, for 5-10 days (I'm going to make myself do it for at least 5 days), all I can have is this concoction of water, fresh lemon juice, maple syrup (the real stuff), and Cayenne pepper. That's it. THAT'S IT.
My friend Kristy just did it. And by the 4th day, she had lost 5 lbs. She wasn't tired, she felt energized, her hair looked healthier, and she wasn't hungry. She says her tummy didn't even growl! Of course, the point is to cleanse your body of all the crap you fill it with, but the added bonus is some weight loss, because, as my mother puts it, "Didn't you know you can carry around about 20 lbs. of shit??"
The tricky thing is that you have to drink salt water in the morning. Every morning. To clear you out, so to speak. And my friend said she was running to the bathroom allll morning. I can't handle that. I mean, I have a job to go to, and I don't think my clients or co-workers would be able to ignore me as I ran to the bathroom holding my butt for the 2000th time. So, I'm going to do it at home, at night, and I'm only doing it once or twice. I will spare you those details when I blog about it later this week. So yes, I am modifying this cleanse to suit my lifestyle, which I know probably isn't right. But, whatever.
5 lbs is 5 lbs, people.


Let's talk about meee!

I stole this from Pieces of Me, who stole it from Unnaturally Blonde, and really, this is the excitement of my Saturday so far, when my daugther is napping and I am avoiding my laundry room like it has cooties:
A - Age: 29 and 300 & some-odd days
B - Band listening to right now: Flyleaf
C - Career future: Get my master's in social work and..who knows where I'll end up??
D - Dad’s name: James
E - Easiest person to talk to: My mom, and a close second is kristy
F - Favorite type of shoe: sexy heels
G – Grapes or Grapefruit: Grapes!
H – Hometown: Wantaugh New York
I - Instrumental talent: Clarinet :) Yes, I was a band geek
J – Juice of choice: OJ or Blueberry-Pomagrante V8 splash
K – Koala Bear or Panda Bear: Polar
L - Longest car ride ever: When we moved to Fort Worth, Texas from Long Island New York. NO a/c, in the middle of the summer, a hole in the floorboard of the backset
M – Middle name: Lee
N - Number of jobs you’ve had: HA! Let's seeeee:I'm on my 14th job since I was 14. Lots of restaurants in high school & college, and one fun stint at a golf course.
O - OCD traits: Hmmm. I really don't think I have any. Well, maybe. But I live with someone who has plenty, so I don't want any of my own!
P - Phobia[s]: Being in a large body of water that has large, huge, scary things that could eat me. I've got the goosebumps just thinking about it!
Q - Quote: Oh, I have a ton, but okay, just 1:
R - Reason to smile: My daugther grace. My doggies. My hubby.
S - Song you sang last: The freakin' Barney song w/ my daugther. She doesn't even watch Barney, but she learned the song at daycare.
T - Time you wake up: Monday-Friday: about 6:20am Sat & Sun: around 8:30 or so
U - Unknown fact about me: Unknown or unexciting? How about both!?-I can't have my tonsils removed because I had a surgery when I was 2 years old where they used tissue from around my tonsils.
V - Vegetable you hate: I love allll veggies! :)
W - Worst habit: biting my nails, probably, or turning off my alarm & going back to sleep
X - X-rays you’ve had: Oh hell. Teeth, Chest (many many times), back, neck
Y - Yummiest food my belly likes: I seriously can't tie myself down to one thing! Pastries, warm fresh cookies, ice cream, chocolate cake, tiramisu....!
Z - Zodiac Sign: Pisces. Imagine that, huh??


No love for the post office right now

The post office is not my friend right now. We are on the outs. I am thinking of giving back my BFF necklace. This is serious!
All the CDs I ordered are....not here.
First off, we have the whole argument about what city I live in. I live in Keller, but my mailing address is North Richland Hills. Yet, every once in awhile, something will arrive with the Keller zip code on it. I'm so confused!
Then, there's the issue with the fact that the mailman can't seem to figure out what street I live on. My street & the next street over have the same house numbers. Way to make it easy for us, neighborhood developer. So, sometimes I get 937 That street's mail, instead of 937 my mail. Or vice versa.
And then to make it a bit more fun/complicated, there is a street in Southlake with the same name as mine. Wouldn't be a big deal, except that when I go to order pizza to be delivered, they deliver it to the southlake address instead of mine. Even though I clearly state that I live in Keller, w/ a NRH address.
Shoot me now.

So, I tracked 2 of the CDs I ordered, and they show that they have shown up at the NRH post office. Yet, they aren't here.
I'm pretty sure my neighbor a block over is listening to all my new CDs. And eating the pizza I ordered.


I heart Amazon.com

One of my most favorite gifts every Christmas is from my friend Jill. She gets me a gift card to Amazon.com. And what's so cool is that it comes in the form of an email, and I can go directly to Amazon and just start buying. It's greatness. So, let me tell you what I bought this time around:

1. Like Blood Like Honey by Holly Brook
2. History for Sale by Blue October
3. A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar by Dashboard Confessional
4. Songs About Jane by Maroon 5
5. The Reminder by Feist

And, if you can believe it, I got all of this for under $30! I am such the bargain shopper!
Usually, I buy all books, but I have been craving music a lot more lately, so I figured I'd go with it.

But, since I am a book whore (according to my husband), I am going to Borders this weekend to buy:
1. How to be Lost by Amanda Ward
2. Change Me into Zeus' Daughter by Barbara Moss
3. Fierce by Barbara Moss

And I really have no pull to any specific bookstore, but I'm going to borders because I have coupons! (told you i was a bargain shopper!) and maybe half priced books because I have a gift card there.

That's all I got tonight.....


HOLY HELL! What is WRONG with me???

Yeah, I know, I just posted something. And seeing as I don't post every day, you would think I would have saved this one for tomorrow, but I am in utter awe of myself right now, so I couldn't wait.
I am officially fired from cooking after 8pm. No microwave, no toaster, no oven, no baking, and definitely no stove-top cooking.
A little background first:

About 5 years ago, while living in my first home, I decided I was going to boil some eggs for breakfast the next morning. I put the pot on medium, put the top on it, and went about the rest of my evening: laundry, watching some crap-show, showering, etc.
I went to bed, and at some point during the night, my yellow lab Daisy (who is worthless in SOOOOO many other ways) woke me up by pushing her snotty nose in my face and whining next to my bed. I woke up and smelled this odd, burnt smell. I went into the kitchen and HOLY HELL! I had left the damn pot on all night long. Not only was the water gone, but the eggs had exploded, and the pot was melted. I was in shock, and it was one of the few times I was madly in love with my snotty-nosed lab.
Fast forward about 5 years:
As I mentioned in my last post, I would like to lose some weight between now and the end of May. So, I've been beefing up my protein intake & going back to eating like every 2 or 3 hours. So.....I decided I would boil some eggs for my breakfast. Ring any bells???
So here I am, all caught up in American Idol (oh hell, don't get me started!), and then I decide to catch up on My Name is Earl, and then I decide to buy some music on Amazon, and then I decide to post about my hives on my itchy ass, and then.....
I hear a pop in the kitchen. A small one, but it peaked my interest, considering my dogs are currently not here, so I know it couldn't be one of them counter-surfing or digging in the trashcan.
I continue with the important stuff of my evening, and I hear another pop, a little louder this time.
The eggs.
Same shit, different day (and year, and house).
I was so afraid to lift the lid, but I did.
No water, exploded eggs.
At least the pot didn't melt this time.
So, I am officially off cooking duty. I could have burnt the damn house down!
Now my house has this burnt-popcorn/rotten eggs smell. Great.
(and if you care, I think my hives are getting worse.)

What the H-E-double-L was I thinking?!

I'm going on an awesome trip to Mexico the end of May. I am excited & nervous, all at once. I really don't have to explain why I am excited: sand, turquoise ocean, sun, books, A.L.C.O.H.O.L., no work, no rain, no icicles, no brrrr!. Now, I am super nervous b/c:

A. My 2 1/2 year old has never been on a plane
B. My 2 1/2 year old has never left the state, let alone the country.
C. I have the driest, ashy-est skin I've ever seen on a white girl.
D. Oh, and I am wayyyyy white.
E. I need to lose some poundage. Like, 10 poundages.

Ugh. So. Since last week I have been doing some simple exercises, because quite frankly, I have been too damn lazy to get out the DVD player and do my Billy Blanks taebo or my yoga, or my pilates, or...okay, you get the point.
So, my calves are a bit sore, my arms are a bit sore (but still hefty).

I decided a quick fix to some of my concerns was to start tanning. I used to be one of those people that could walk out the mailbox & get tan. It was great! Now, not so much. Like I said, I'm pasty, ashy, dry, pale.....
So I've been tanning for a little over a week. I don't go every day b/c it makes me damn itchy. Itchy-er than I already am in the winter.
Well, today I 'beefed up' my tanning time to a whole 12 minutes. And....I look great if I do say so myself, but (get ready):

I am miserable! Ack!
But I look good.


How I know I'm almost 90...er, 30.

Get ready-I'm gonna be blunt, and for all you youngin's reading this:

RUN! GO HAVE FUN NOW! Party! WEAR GREAT CLOTHES & SEXY SHOES! WEAR THE IRRESPONSIBLY BUT SEXY BRAS W/ MATCHING PANTIES! Be wild & irresponsible (to an extent)! Use birth control! Flirt shamelessly! Hell-have a one night stand if you aren't attached! Dance until the club/bar closes. Then go to IHOP or Awful House, and go to bed after the sun rises. Go to college NOW-don't put it off until 'later'. Oh, and wear fake eyelashes while doing some (or all) of the above. It's a must.

(Deep breath)

How I know I'm almost 30:

1. I ache when I get up in the morning. It might just be my mattress, and I would love to blame it all on that, but I don't think I really can.

2. I'm annoyed when I'm up in the dead of the night. I used to stay up until 3 am and I didn't mind. And I could even wake up at 7am to get to class the next morning. Now, not so much.

3. I spend way too much time staring in the mirror at my imperfections. Wow-when I was 17, I could care less. I spent very little time analyzing my body's faults.

4. Some worn out body part/muscle cramps up after (or, sadly, during) sex. Say, for instance, the time both of my hips cramped up, and I laid there crying and laughing at the same time. Or how about the time I got a cramp in my neck, of all places? I don't think I need to give you any visuals.

5. The thought of getting dressed up to go to a bar or club is exhausting.

6. When I do actually get dressed up, I don't know where to go! Am I that un-cool already? I used to close down some clubs when I was 18, but now they shut me down.

7. I have to rationalize what type of drink I'm going to have:
"If I have a rum & coke, I'll get all bloated from the coke."
"If I drink wine, I will get super-thirsty."
"I can do shots & get drunk quick, but then I run the chance of having a stomachache."
"If I do a frilly, girly drink, I really run the risk of a stomachache."
"Beer-ugh, BLOATED."
"Fuck it, I'll have a tequila shot."

8. I have to choose clothes that hide my muffin-top. Oh, and that will hide the bloating that will occur throughout the night from any of the above in #7.

9. I'm more excited about eating something out than drinking something.


10. Sex is the last thing on my mind when I stumble in at 3am, drunk off my ass.
Sleep, sleep, s.l.e.e.p.

Weeeeeee! Can't wait to see 40.


And Target is my favorite store BECAUSE...?!?!

Alright, I'm just going to say it: I-adore-Target. I know lots of people share this passion with me, because the one by my house always has at least 2000 cars parked outside, even on a Sunday night. Hell, the other night we walked out right as they were closing, only to be approached by a couple that was attempting to get in the door. They were so disappointed when we told them they were closed.
I have lots of Target stuff in my house: sheets, towels, floor mats, bathmats, Christmas ornaments, candle holders, Target brand food, and about 50,000 other odds & ends.
I go at least three times a week. I browse the clearance racks (which rock), I walk up and down the housewares aisles, and I'm so excited when they have the Global Bazaar each Spring. I mean, mark-it-on-my-calender excited. You think I'm joking.
And my kid loves it too. If we have nothing going on, she will say 'I wanna go to TARGET!'
I love it so much that I am a secret shopper for them. I'm serious. I doubt my cover is blown.
It is with great pain & distress that I say this:


I ordered a cute shower curtain and the matching accessories for my daughter's bathroom, back in OCTOBER. It's pink, tan, & black, and has cute little purses, shoes, & dresses on it. Everything came about 2 weeks later, which sorta pissed me off to begin with, because it never takes that long for anything to come from Target.com. Then, stuff is backordered-a bath towel, hand towel, & matching washcloth. They have the cute little purses, shoes, etc. on them, so we must have them. So, I figure 'Okay, it's backordered for a couple of weeks, no biggie'. Uh, no biggie? They were backordered for 2 freakin' months. But yes, they are worth the wait, (or so it seemed at the time), so I went ahead and ordered them.

First day of Winter.
Oh, towels, where are you???
Right before Christmas, I get an email from Target telling me that my order has finally been shipped. Normally, they give you a tracking number, but the email says there is 'no tracking number associated with this order'. That should have been my first clue.
Every day I open the front door to see if the package is on the porch.
New Year's.
Where are the f-ing towels???

So, it my patient voice, I compose an email to Target, asking where my order is. I get some automated thing back telling me that their records show that they were delivered already. As in, I have them??? Uh, only if my dogs ate them when I wasn't looking.

So, today I get another email, telling me that they have received my return and they have credited my account. Huh? WTF? Am I missing something here?

So, in my patient voice again, I call them. I sit on hold for about 10 minutes (again, not the Target norm), and I get......
(oh God, forgive me for my lack of patience here)
.....some Middle Eastern guy that I cannot understand for the life of me.
So I keep saying 'Excuse me?' and 'Can you repeat that please?', and somehow, in the jumble of our conversation, I get that he is telling me that their system does indeed show that "someone" returned my towels, and that "someone" stated for the reason "Not what I expected".
Oh yeah?
Now, to add to this mess, I have address/mail delivery issues to begin with. I live in one city, but my mailing address is for a neighboring city, and it seems that neither city can decide who I belong to, so I didn't get my natural gas bill for 3 months, my electric bill was sent back to the electric company as 'undeliverable', & at least once a week, a neighbor brings me my mail because the mailman is an idiot and can't decipher the difference in our street names (Nottingham & Lyndhurst-wow-they sound sooo much alike). Crap, I don't care what city I belong to-just give me my damn mail!!!!
I tried to explain to Habeeb that I did not return the towels because I never received them in the first place. I tried to explain that I had been waiting on these f-ing towels since the beginning of October. I know he thought I was a nut. I know just know it. He finally told me that there was nothing he could do for me. His only suggestion was this: re-order the damn towels.
Oh yeah??
So rather than argue with him, I said, 'Okay, can you tell me if they are currently in stock?' Well, they should be, considering my fucking towels are sitting in their warehouse. He puts me on hold, comes back 10 minutes later, and tells me:


Are you f-ing kidding me????????

After I take a few deep breaths, get my heart rate down, & thank him, I go online to look up the damn towels, hoping that he was somehow wrong.
Nope, he was right. They are backordered.
Oh, and it gets better (no, really):
Now they cost $5 more than I originally paid for them.
I am not kidding you. I am sitting here typing this with a straight face.
I do not have the energy to call them right now, only to luck out and get Habeeb again. I do not have the patience to argue with any one of them right now.

The stickler in this whole debacle is that I still want the towels.

Target, you SLAY me! This is so wrong! Why do you torment me so!?!

What's just as bad about this whole debacle is that I will be going to the Target right down the street tomorrow, and I will be giving them more of my hard-earned money, because I saw some super-cute pj pants when I was there on Wednesday.


A little something for someone I care about

I am writing today to wish my un-adopted daughter a happy birthday. Not only is she turning 16, but she is continuing to survive in a system that makes it difficult for her to enjoy any day. And she is only my un-adopted daughter because it was a conflict of interest for me, as her cps caseworker, to adopt a child on my caseload....

Happy 16th Birthday Jamie! I love you dearly, and think of you every day. I wish that we could see each other on a regular basis, and I'm hoping we can change that soon! You are a strong young woman, and I continue to have faith that you will survive, you will make it out of the system alive, and still have some fight left in you to make a good life for yourself.
I pray that you will stop being so hard on yourself; you are not to fault for most of what has gone on the past several years. I pray that you will stop hurting yourself; you have been hurt enough by others-you need to take care of yourself, honey. I pray that you look in the mirror one day and see in your reflection what I see: a strong, beautiful, courageous survivor. I pray that you find peace with your past, and find real, unyielding love in your future.

I love you honey, the best way I know how!


Crying mother of a screaming 2 year old (or vice versa)

I am about sick and tired of the 2 year old fits. They make me want to cry. My daughter is a doll, a charmer, a I-get-what-I-want-because-I-am-just-so-cute kinda kid. 99% of the time, she is sweet, funny, compliant, COMPLIANT. That 1% though, is enough to make me want to run away from home, with only the clothes on my back and a case of liquor.
I have never been a patient person. I remember when I was 12 and my brother was 2. I wanted to rip my hair out when we went out to restaurants and he did the kicking and screaming thing. He would arch his back as my dad was trying to put him in a highchair, which pissed off my dad, which set my mom on edge, which made my 'Gotta be the mediator' gene swing into action, and it.was.just.so.tiring.
I swore to myself that when I had a child, he/she would be GOOD, would NOT kick and scream and cry in public, making me look like a deer in headlights who wants to be run over. But, did that happen? Oh hell no. It was only a matter of time before karma bit me in my ass, seeing as I was an angel for most everyone, but knew how to say 'Aw, shit' in front of my grandparents at just the (im)perfect time. So. Here I am.
Grace wanted Spite (sprite) tonight with dinner. She is on a sprite spree lately, and I am constantly worrying about her cute little teeth, since mine were horrendous. (You know, the whole 'I want my child to have better than I did' thing) So, I convinced her that she should have milk, and even drank a small glass to show her that it wouldn't kill her. Later, after dinner, she informed me, matter-of-factly, (everything she says has a bossy air to it) 'I HAVE SODA'. She then proceeded to go into the pantry and bring out a 2 liter of Dr. Pepper. I not-so-calmly told her she couldn't have soda 30 minutes before bed; so sorry. Guess I should not have thrown in the smart ass 'so sorry', because that just set her off.
Me: 'No baby, not at night'.
Grace: 'MYYYYYYYYY soda!'
Me: 'No grace'. (gritting teeth already)
Grace: 'I hab (have) it!'
Me: 'For the love of Pete, you CANNOT have soda at 8 o'clock at night! So sorry! Give it up!' (by this time my blood pressure is up, & I am a bundle of bunched nerves)

This is where she falls to the ground like she has been struck, thumps her head on the pretty wood floor, and proceeds to scream at the top of her lungs. I'm sure the neighbors appreciated that. And she cries real tears. And sweats, and shakes, and beats her fists on the floor, and throws the 2 liter at me. And then:

'I want my daddy! '

And this is where I silently walk out of the room, and say under my breath, 'Oh, he can have your little fancy pants sassy ass!'

Someone, tell me again, why do we choose to have offspring???


Resolution revolution

While lying in the dark in the wee hours of the morning, I came to the awesome realization that I tend to set myself up for failure this time every year, when I come up with lofty, yet flighty, resolutions. I mean, I have great intentions, but then life gets in the way. I always come up with the following: lose weight, get published, have more patience, stop cussing. And, I never seem to accomplish any of them for very long, so they never leave my list. They all have permanent permanence. And it is so disappointing to realize that by january 5th, I have eaten an entire box of oreos, gained 4 lbs. doing so, grown inpatient with my weight loss, grown inpatient with myself for the damn box of oreos, and cussed the whole damn time. So, this year, I AM REVOLTING. Screw the resolutions. I mean, I always have good motivation to better myself, and push myself to my potential, so why do I have to post it for the world to watch my progress, only to laugh in my face when I screw it all up before the first week of the year is over??? So....
No More (public) Resolutions!

I was reading a fellow blogger's post concerning her thoughts on the previous & upcoming years, and I decided that I would just do the same, so I feel a sense of accomplishment at having deep thoughts about myself. Here goes:

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?
Take a stand for myself, even when I was afraid to do so.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Well, sorta. I did enter a poetry contest this year. It might get published, if I win. I did have brief periods of non-cussing and more patience. NO. MORE. RESOLUTIONS.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, 4 good friends had babies-1 girl, 3 boys.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, thank goodness!!!

5. What countries did you visit? None. I didn't even leave the state this past year. Wow-I am one exciting chick.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
More confidence in my writing & my ability to make sound decisions; more patience with my child; more (QUALITY)time with my husband

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? March-met all the members of the band Blue October &; the beginning of April-when I finally sold my house, actually made it to closing, and moved out of my little house on the prairie; nothing else really stands out, as far as specific dates.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Having the balls to make a hard decision that made my life soooo much better.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Probably the fact that I continue to lack patience in many areas of my life.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? do the daily bumps & bruises of a chronic klutz count for anything? If not, I would say that my long bout of depression finally left in April.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Oh, this is such a hard question, but I would have to say my house was the best thing I bought this year.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My hubby's-he was more patient this year, and was much more motivated to be there for me when I needed him

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The media's. I'm sick of all the hype & drama about paris, britney, lindsay......Paris-drop dead; Leave Britney alone!-We all make bad decisions! Lindsay-ditto!

14. Where did most of your money go?
Probably to this house, and all the new stuff we bought to fill it. Ouch.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
There was more than one event, & they all tie for 1st place: Finding out someone made an offer on my house, & they didn't back out at the last second; Being surprised with Norah Jones tickets (awesome seats); going to see Blue October in concert (even better seats than Norah!!)

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
that freakin' song 'bubbly' that the stupid radio stations will not stop playing. ugh.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
 a) happier or sadder? 
MUCH happier b) thinner or fatter? fatter (ouch!) 
c) richer or poorer? personally-poorer; as a couple-richer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? I wish I'd spent more time exercising, forcing my husband to spend more fun time with me & our daughter, & wish I'd spent more time photographing my daughter

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
procrastinate, complain, grown inpatient

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Both Christmas eve & day at my house, with my mother, brother, sister, & in-laws, eating lots of cheese. :)

21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
Well, with some books, music, & a few materialistic things. With people?-no romantic love here!

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Um, it's a toss-up: Grey's Anatomy or Samantha Who?

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?Nah, I don't think so.

24. What was the best book you read?
Impossible for me to say there was just one 'best' book, but I'd have to say that Swimming Towards the Ocean by Carole Glickfeld was phenomenal.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Hmmm...Anna Nalick, Sorta, & Sick Puppies

26. What did you want and get?
A new job, this beautiful corner bookcase, some more inner peace (corny but true)

27. What did you want and not get?
Not going there.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
don't get to the movies much, but I would have to say that out of the ones I saw, I truly loved Kabluey! & The Heartbreak Kid.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 29, and I honestly don't remember what I did. Probably ate, drank, & cussed.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If I'd been published, & definitely if I'd had a romantic vacation with my hubby

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Hmmm....'What in my closet still fits, looks decent, & doesn't make me look like I'm all boobs???'

32. What kept you sane?
by far, my mother.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Barack Obama & John Mccain

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
This freaking war.

35. Who did you miss?
My lovely friend Natalie who lives in Cali, my uncle who passed away a year ago in April, & my brother, who moved 3 1/2 hours away back in February

36. Who was the best new person you met?
A couple of business contacts who are awesome people!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
No good deed goes unpunished.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I think it turned ten o'clock but I don't really know
then I can't remember caring for an hour or so
started crying and I couldn't stop myself
I started running but there's no where to run to
I sat down on the street, took a look at myself
said where you going man you know the world is headed for hell
say all goodbyes if you've got someone you can say goodbye to

I believe the world is burning to the ground
oh well I guess we're gonna find out
let's see how far we've come (right now)
let's see how far we've come

(How far we've come by Matchbox 20)

Anyone else care to answer these great questions? :)