Playing the part

I ate kick-ass pad thai,
     and I thought of the only meal we shared, taking turns identifying the pop-culture songs being played on a keyboard (you were so much better at it than I).
I drove aimlessly down unfamiliar streets,
    and I thought of your hand on my knee, your thumb grazing my thigh.
I drank several shots of cheap tequila,
     and I thought of the perfect dive bar you took me to,
          and I remember feeling like this moment belonged to someone else....
                surely I didn't deserve to have my way with you.
And I didn't (deserve it)
       but I did (have my way), 
It ended too soon.
I sit in this chair, my lap full of journal pages, an unopened Spin magazine, and
I watch these brief memories play-rewind-replay
        in my mind.
In the dark, I know-
I needed more than one night
     to convince you
What took only minutes for my heart to learn.
I find myself thinking of you- at the most inappropriate times,
I find myself dreaming of you-and I wake up in the silence of my room,
    hoping you were dreaming of me too.
I walk a thin line, a fine-toothed edge,
    writing these words, thinking these thoughts,
Yearning for the impossible, just out of reach.
I am being silly
    and unrealistic
       and selfish
          and foolish.
And I am reading between your unwritten lines,
seeking sentiment where there is none, 
hoping you will play me like the script in your hands.


Chunky Mama said...

Love it.

Home of Pie said...

This is the kinda poem where I swear you are writing about my life...I love this, love love love!

Sarah said...