A half-assed update of sorts

An update of sorts, because my brain is so fried from all of it that I can't imagine writing something brilliant right this very second: 

My mom and I put an offer on 4 houses. This last one stuck. We close May 3rd and start moving May 4th. Relieved and stressed and worried and tired. It's a beautiful home, but worried a bit about it not being big enough. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's smaller than any of the other homes we put offers on. I'm sure it will be fine, and it's definitely larger than we have now. 

In the market for a new job. Feeling very unappreciated and dismissed. Not by the residents. They are fabulous. I love them. But by those above me. It feels fake. Does that make sense? Hmmm...I may need a post about this. 

Did I mention that about a month ago a dumbass man hit my truck and DROVE OFF? Did I mention how I chased his ass, approximately 5 miles? Jerk-off had a suspended license. Yes, I know: "Did you call the police?" No. I'm a dumbass. I am a dumbass kind social worker that gave him the benefit of the doubt when he and his "boss" told me they would pay for it to get fixed, rather than involve the police and insurance companies. I am a dumbass. I.AM.A.DUMBASS.  They stopped returning my calls. It happened on a Thursday and I called my insurance on Saturday. They won't return my insurance company's phone calls either. Shitheads. So I don't exactly have the extra cash to pay my deductible right now (See: buying a house), so I'm driving around with a busted tail light, a nice dent in my truck bed, and some fantastic ripple-like dents. Ugh. 

I started playing dodgeball. The whole "If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball...". I am a fantastic dodger, but I am terrible at throwing them. I am also not competitive at all, so there's that. I enjoy the laughs though.

I am sick of the dating game. It is largely a GAME. Ugh. I am disgruntled about it. I am lonely and vulnerable and sick of both feelings. 

Lastly, my ex had a baby with his girlfriend last Thursday. Yeah. I wish I could say that it doesn't make my list of "shit that has been going on in my life lately", but it does. Sadly, it affects a lot...my girl has mixed emotions and is struggling a bit. I know all kids have a mess of feelings when a sibling is born, but I know for a fact that it feels even more different when it is a half-sibling (I have one, although I have never thought of her as such). And when she is hurting, it hurts me. I want her to feel good about it, feel confident that her dad will love her just the same, be happy, and feel safe. I know I can't control for everything, but she is my priority and it makes me ache. 

So much more to write. So much more to say. But so tired. 
Please come back. I will be writing more. Better. More. 


Anonymous said...

Congrats on the house - so exciting!!

Our car got backed into last month by someone who couldn't bother to leave a note. You are the fourth person I know who this has happened to lately. Are people even more asshole-y lately?

I'm sorry about the baby/ex thing. It sucks on many levels. I'm glad your girl has you to be sensitive to this difficult time in her life.

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the house!!! Sorry about baby girl and her new sibling....sucks all around!! HUGS!!