Twitter Bitterness

I am so not into Twitter. Oh wait-let me re-phrase that: I think I would SOOOO be into Twitter if I took the time to learn it. But I just can't bring myself to do that! I already have enough shit going on in my life. I don't need any guilt that I'm lagging behind on my Twits or Tweets, or whatever. But I want to join soooo bad. Ridiculous, huh?

So, since I don't Twit/Tweet, I'll give you a rundown of things I would be twitting/tweeting this week, if I did in fact Twit/Tweet:

* Are you kidding me? How do 95 year old grandmas who can't see over the steering wheel even get a license?

* Sigh.....why is having a husband like having another child to raise?

* Move it or lose it, lady. I've got places to be!

* Back off Betty, or I'm gonna hit my brakes and you are so gonna own this Jeep.

* Someone please tell me why God made fire ants.

* No.more.push-ups.

* WiiFit is the Shit!

* My 3 year old just told me to go in time-out.

* Is eating a pint of ice cream considered meeting my daily requirements of dairy?

* Anyone up for some drinking?

* Why, oh why, did I want another dog?

* How can a f-ing used pull-up be appetizing to a dog?

* Am I the only one sick of hearing about the Brett Favre debacle?

* If it doesn't rain soon, I think I might just die right along with the grass.

* Is it Friday yet?

*Ooooo, I love the new Jessica Simpson country song. Go ahead and make fun.

* Is it possible to itch off your skin? If so, how do you re-attach it?

* My mother just farted in boot camp.

There ya have it!
So should I go ahead and let myself be sucked into the black hole that is Twitter?


Kristie said...

Cave to the peer preasure!!! I'll follow you on Twitter!

Fiona Picklebottom said...

Go ahead. It's easy. I did it, and unlike when I don't post for days, I feel no guilt or pressure when I don't tweet for days.

Anonymous said...

Don't do it! Be your own person...don't go to the dark side! LOL

(Honestly...I don't even know what Twitter/Tweeter is. What can you do...text to your site from your phone or something? I havent figured it out...)

Anonymous said...

HEY!!! What does that 2nd comment mean? You been talking to my wife?

Li'l Foot's Mommy said...

DO IT!!! Doooo Itttt!!! Dooooo Eeeeet!!! ;-)

Jason, as himself said...

There is no way I could Twitter. My family would just give up and abandon me for good.

moo said...

I find twitter is nice when I just want to say SOMETHING, but don't really have a whole post in my head. Or if I want to be snarky. Or share what I'm eating for lunch.

It's light and harmless and sometimes days and days go by and I won't twitter (tweet?) ... and that's OK too. It's not all consuming like reading blogs is ;)

Anonymous said...

Twitter is VERY easy. I just do it on the web and not my phone cause that would be overkill. I follow people but clicking follow. Then I go to a website and there is a box where I type what I want..it's kind of almost like a message board.. I follow around 70 people and news stations.. no pressure. All the cool kids do it..me and Biddy for 2 of your most favorite people..then my twitters show up on the my blog too...OMG I'm so cool I can't stand it.
(I read twitters at home...and then I don't blog)

Anonymous said...

Oh..and moo twitters too.. I think I found out about the babysitter quitting before you..cause she twittered it. No pressure though.