I have a confession to make

I went to get my hair cut today, by a different lady from last time. Ashley did a great job, incidentally, but that's not my confession. Oh, nooooooo, it can't be some easy, little, teeny-tiny nothing confession. It has to be controversial. Or not. Whatever. It's my confession, so....yeah. Wait for it......

While she's cutting my hair, Ashley leans over in front of me, to check the even-ness of my bangs (yes, I got bangs this time. And not little-girl, or I-am-a-mom bangs, but sexy bangs. Is there even a such thing? If not, I just invented it!), and.....

I totally look down her shirt.

Ack!!! I totally closed my eyes, because Jeez! I really felt like a perv.

And then she bent over again.
Andddddd....I looked again!

It was like when you drive by roadkill, and you.don't.want.to.look, but YOU DO ANYWAY!

And then she bent over again.
Andddddd....you get my drift.

Is that my confession? Well, yeah, but, there's more.

I um, sorta, um, like boobs!!! There! I said it! (whew) Isn't that pitiful??? They are just so, well, pretty! Okay, well not all boobs are pretty, but I'm not talking about the ones that hang down to your belly, or..... again, you get my drift. And it's not like I look at everyone's boobs, so if you are one of my real-life friends (or one of my bloggy friends!), PLEASE don't be worried that I'm checking out your chest!! (What the frick was I thinking, telling you guys this confession???) I've said it before, and I'll say it again-A woman's body is just so much prettier than a guy's (unless it's one of these guys), so can you blame me?

And to avoid this conversation, I'll just tell you know now. The hairstylist did not have Jennifer Love Hewitt boobs. She had more like Shakira boobs.

So. Yeahhhhh. Um. (blushing)


Thanks for all the suggestions of what to give my hubby for our anniversary. Apparently, the overwhelming response was BLOW JOB , which makes me wonder if my hubby talked to all of you about this shit. But, okay, whatever, I do love him, so I guess.....aw, hell. I'm getting him a ooey-gooey card!


Anonymous said...

I've been trying to tell you...WOMAN ARE HOT! LOL

Good luck on that birthday card. Sounds like a lot of fun...NOT. Go with the gift card. He'll dig it...promise.

(But the other thing would be nice too...)

Anonymous said...

P.S. When do we get to see the new 'do?

Biddy said...

hahahahaaaaa oh lawsie i needed a good laugh! thank you!

and yeah, i tend to check out boobs too. and my new favorite t.v. show is "the girls next door"

god, i'm turning into a lesbian ;-)

Dynamita said...

There is nothing wrong with checking out the boobs. I think we all do it. Now to the important bit. Haircut Pics!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease?

Jenn Martinson said...

I don't blame you at all...if she's gonna bend over and wear a boobie bearing top, she wants those puppies to be looked at. You: 1. The Universe: 0.

Scary Mommy said...

That's too funny!! And I agree, lets see the new 'do!

just a girl... said...

i too so love boobs

Kristie said...

I love boobs, too! Who doesn't?

I wanna see the hair, too!

Kristie said...

Oh, ps...I was so enamored with that bust thing at Chunky (ha!) Monkey that I briefly considered buying it.

Anonymous said...

Pretty boobs do make me look twice..and when I bought my new bra which makes my books look good..I totally felt myself up.

Jason, as himself said...

This post was JOOO-SEEEE!

You almost got me liking boobs.

And let me say that I hope that giving your husband a blow job isn't so out of the ordinary that it's such a rare, special treat, the kind one would only get on their birthday!

CP said...

You're a boobie perv! :)

Misty said...

I'm staying... insane or not... I'll be around!